


When The Static Fades

by chelseachelseaIbelieve



Series: Emmy Verse [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Illness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelseachelseaIbelieve/pseuds/chelseachelseaIbelieve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the song "Lift Me Up" by Christina Aguilera. This fic deals with a child being extremely sick, so possibly a trigger, and while it isn't wrapped up in a neat little bow at the end it is meant to end on a hopeful note. This is part of a series of sorts with the possibility for more related one-shots in the future if there is interest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The Static Fades

**Author's Note:**

> Ok this will make no sense without a little back story. This is part of what I call the "Emmy Verse." Emmy is a character I created along with my beloved Cass, and she is Claude's biological daughter that he never knew about until she was a few years old. There is a bunch of back story to her, I have multiple one-shots with her because she is addicting, but basically she was given up for adoption and Claude and Danny stumble across her one day. She has cancer - they meet her through Danny's Briere Bunch charity - and this is basically a moment in their journey.
> 
> This was thought of last Spring when someone I loved was diagnosed with cancer and came to life after I listened to "Lift Me Up" by Christina Aguilera one night on my way home from the hospital and pretty much broke down crying when all I could think about was Claude and Danny and Emmy; it's sad, I know this. Please listen to that song if you haven't already, or for a refresher...it is amazing.
> 
> And this is completely 100% all me, no betas involved, so any and all mistakes/errors are mine!

One foot in front of the other.

That was as far as Claude’s brain was willing to venture at the moment.

He needed a shower, though, because he smelled like sickness and hand sanitizer. Preferably a hot shower, but right now he would take anything that would get him back as quick as possible.

Back to his life. Back to his world. He felt like an asshole for leaving. You know how some guys have those coffee mugs that say “Worlds #1 Dad” on them? Danny has one with the boys’ handprints on them from when they were little. He drank out of it all the time. Claude needed one that said “Worlds #1 Shittiest Dad” with a little “you suck” amended at the bottom.

Claude shook his head in what he knew would be a useless attempt to clear his thoughts.

The hand on his back barely registered. The touch was too light and his senses were too numb. The pressure felt like needles pricking his skin as fingers ghosted across his shoulder blades – a sort of promise for strength or some shit like that.

Claude braced his own hand against the wall, pressing his forehead to the cool surface, toeing his shoes off blindly as he closed his eyes against the house that had become so much his home. Now, however, he felt like a stranger – an intruder. Like this was all too good for him; too easy. The reminder was his punishment. Not letting him forget how much he had truly failed.

The small hospital room that held his daughter was his home now. The brightly lit, sterile, impersonal hallways were too familiar and the always-smiling, vacant-eyed nurses were his new family. Being here felt like cheating.

He was cheating and he wanted to run. He wanted to scream and punch something.

He wanted to run back to the hospital – to wrap himself around his little girl and dare anyone or anything to try to take her away from him.

But he also wanted to stay.

Heaven help him, he wanted to turn around and fall in to the arms he knew were waiting for him and forget everything. He wanted to hide underneath the covers away from everything that made his chest hurt and his eyes burn.

Which only made him feel more like an asshole because that - forgetting and hiding - included his daughter. He could never forget Emmy…never wish her away. But he couldn’t deny that during times like this; when it seemed like everything was crumbling around him, he wished he could simply go back to when his biggest concerns were practices and upcoming Rangers games. Not blood cell counts and how many more rounds of chemo and radiation are there? And sorry boys, Em’s too sick to come home this week.

The news they had gotten earlier had not been what they had expected. What they had hoped for.

“The cancer is back and it is more aggressive this time.” The doctor had said as if he was passing out vouchers for a free consult, not telling a father that his daughter is pretty much dying. Claude, who had been standing beside the bed, holding Emmy’s hand in both of his as she slept, had sunk down until he was barely balancing on the edge.

Fuck if that metaphor didn’t fit perfectly with his life.

A million sentences thrashed around in his brain but when he opened his mouth to speak, all he could do was sputter unintelligibly.

Danny spoke up when he saw Claude deflate. Danny would get to him soon enough, but right now they needed answers. “What does that mean?” His voice was raw. Like he sometimes sounded after a game, not like he had just spent the better part of the morning and afternoon in silence or muted whispers when he and Claude had stepped out of the room to talk or went to the cafeteria to get more coffee.

The doctor removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose as if the explanation should have been implied. Danny made a quick mental note to speak to the doctor alone at some point in the near future. He respected that his job was no doubt stressful, but his bedside manner was for shit and Claude didn’t deserve that right now. “We’ve sedated her so her body can have a chance to rest and fight back. Now would be a good time to go home and get some rest yourselves. You need to be prepared for this next round.”

Claude couldn’t stop the air as it left his lungs in an almost choked laugh. They wanted him to leave. They actually wanted him to get up and walk out of this room and away from his baby when she needed him the most.

The nurses had even tried to reason with him.

“We’ll call you if there is any change.” The blonde had suggested, placing her hand softly, hesitantly on his shoulder.

“You need to get some sleep, my dear.” The brunette echoed.

The older nurse that looked to be in charge was far more abrupt. Her eyes determined yet somewhat pained as she pointed her finger at Claude. “You’ll do Emmy no good if you run yourself sick trying to be some kind of hero. Because if you get sick then I won’t be allowed to let you back here because her body can’t handle any extra germs right now. Don’t make me have to keep you from your precious little girl. Because lord knows I will if I have to for her sake.”

Claude could only shake his head. He understood what they were saying, but they didn’t seem to understand what he needed or wanted. He wanted to meld himself to his little girl. He wanted to physically pull this horrible fucking parasite from her body and take it on as his own. He would trade places with her in a heartbeat and thank god for every ache that he endured as long as it was him and not her.

He wanted…and yet, he got nothing.

So he clung to his daughter’s hand, refusing to talk to anyone. Kissing her palm gently, he whispered against her warm skin, eyes closed, as he listened to the constant beep; the reassurance that she was still his for another moment longer.

Was it right for him to wish that she not leave him when she was in so much pain? How selfish could he be to silently beg her to hold on longer because he wasn’t ready to let go?

Pretty fucking selfish, really.

It had been Danny who had finally convinced him to leave some odd hours later.

Not so much convinced as forced, really.

They had remained in the room in silence after the doctor had left; Danny on one side of the bed, Claude on the other. Each grasping a tiny hand in their own; each making their own deals with God to spare the little girl they had so quickly come to love. Danny stood up, running the pad of his thumb across Emmy’s pale cheek, careful to not disturb the tubes by her nose. Sighing heavily, he walked over to Claude, his hand curling around his bicep, gently but firmly pulling him to his feet with a soft “come on.”

Claude had resisted but Danny held firm. “A few hours is all I am asking. They have the house number as well as both of our cells and Sylvie’s number. You heard the doctor; they are making Em sleep so her body can try to get better. You have been here for nearly 3 months solid. You need this. Don’t make me call Scotty.” Danny attempted to lighten the mood. When Claude didn’t react, Danny knew now was as good a time to use his trump card as any. “We are leaving whether I have to actually physically remove you or you walk out on your own. They say she can hear us…don’t frighten her by causing a scene.” It might have been a low blow but it was all Danny had at the moment. And he knew, sure as anything, that Claude needed this. Needed to get out for a bit even if he didn’t realize it yet.

Claude glared at the brunette but allowed himself to be led out of the room after he had kissed Emmy goodbye, promising to be back as soon as he could, but he had remained silent the entire ride home.

With his shoes kicked haphazardly in the hallway, Claude bypassed the kitchen against his growling stomach’s protests and headed up the stairs.

Danny followed silently, waiting.

Waiting for Claude to break, to fall apart, or even to start yelling. Danny was prepared for all of it because he knew Claude…and he knew that he was hovering just on the edge and it was only a matter of time before he fell head first.

If Claude was being truthful, though, he was still really pissed. He knew, logically, that everyone was only trying to help, but he didn’t need the doctors and the nurses, and especially not Danny, trying to micromanage him. He hated how people tended to treat him like a child when he wasn’t on the ice. Everyone seemed to like to give lip service to how mature he was but they still handled him with kid gloves. He was an adult. He could take care of himself and his daughter. Thank you.

But he also knew he was being unfair. Danny had supported him from the very beginning of all of this, and for that Claude would be forever grateful. He honestly didn’t know if he would have been able to get this far without him.

But Claude couldn’t help but question, if it was one of the boys lying in that hospital bed right now, he doubted Danny would be so willing to leave.

His shirt was the first item tossed aside when he entered their bedroom. It landed somewhere around the foot of the bed, his pants in a heap by the bathroom door. He winced at his own reflection in the mirror but before he looked away he caught sight of Danny picking up his discarded clothes; standing almost nervously by the door. He looked like he wanted to come in, to say something, but thought better of it and turned away.

Claude wanted to call out to him. Ask him to come back.

Beg for the contact…the intimate touch and feel of the older man’s arms encompassing him in a way that never failed to make him feel cherished and safe all at once. It was stupid, but he wanted to live up to the childish expectations that some people had of him by clinging to the older man like he had seen the boys do in times of pain and heartbreak. Lips pressed to ears as words of reassurance wrapped around them like a safety net, ensuring that if they were to fall, he would catch them. He would always be there.

Claude remained silent.

He turned the water to its hottest setting and walked in, welcoming the painful sting. White hot liquid scorched his scalp, running down his face as his forehead came in to contact with the cold tile.

All he could hear were the doctors harsh words bombarding his ears and all he could see was his daughter’s small frame swallowed up by the impossibly large pink princess blanket that Cam had insisted they buy for her. Lying so helplessly in the hospital bed with all the cords and monitors hooked up to her. Her normally pink cheeks drained of color. Her voice so low and weak, compounded by the almost non-existent movements she was barely able to make as her body was at war with itself.

She had been so strong and so alive when he had first seen her nearly a year ago. Strength radiating from every pore despite her previous diagnosis. She had been a girl on the mend…on an upward climb towards the life she deserved. The life she had missed out on so far. The childhood that Claude had vowed to give her back.

The tears mixed with the water and all that registered was the pain throbbing in his hands. His fists came down on the tile over and over again with the kind of force he only ever exerted on the ice, as he pushed himself back slightly, reaching back to go again. It wasn’t until another set of hands grabbed his that his eyes opened. The larger hands closed around his wrists as blood trickled over them both before dripping to the tile and swirling with the water towards the drain.

When had he cut his hand?

He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears or the water, which ever it was it didn’t really matter, and tensed.

He needed to see Emmy. He needed to touch her and feel the warmth of life in her cheeks. He needed to hear that incessant, hideous beep. He needed to know that she was still his..

Like, right now.

Like 5 minutes ago, kind of now.

He struggled once again against the other’s grasp, sputtering against the water that fell over his face, his voice catching as he managed to cry out only one word. “Please?”

Lips pressed to the back of his neck with a soft “I’m sorry.”

And Claude broke.

His knees buckled as Danny wrapped their joined arms around his waist, lowering them both to the floor. Claude’s head leaned back against Danny’s shoulder, his body shuddering as he sobbed openly against his lover. “I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make her better. I’m supposed to protect her and fix her...I can’t lose her, Danny, I can’t. I just got her.”

Danny tightened his hold, hugging the other to him. He nodded, though he knew Claude couldn’t see him but he hoped he felt him. The steam swirled around them like a cocoon that shielded them from everything else in the world. “I know, love. But the only way you can help Em is to take care of yourself so that when she wakes up you both will be ready for the next fight. Tonight, you do what you need to do; hit me, break stuff if you have to…we take tonight to deal with this just you and me and then tomorrow we fight, yeah?”

Claude shook his head sharply, his wet curls clinging to both his and Danny’s face. “I can’t. What if this is my punishment? I missed so much of her life in the beginning. She has had to go through so much on her own already…what if she was given to me just long enough to fall so deeply in love with her, only for her to be taken away in the end.”

Danny wasn’t about to accept that theory. He could never believe in something that worked in that kind of twisted logic. “You can do this. I will be with you every step of the way and no matter what happens, having Emmy in your life…in our lives…no matter the duration, could never be a punishment. That little girl is too much like her papa – too stubborn – to give up.”

Claude’s head dropped forward. Danny was right; he really needed to get his shit together.

Claude nodded, his chest rising and falling almost violently as he tried to calm himself down and catch his breath against the thick steam. All the energy seemed to seep out of his body all at once. It was then that he first registered the odd feeling of wet denim against the back of his thighs. “You are still dressed…I’m sorry.” Claude groaned, sinking back against Danny.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get you finished up and in bed.” Making quick work of the task at hand, Danny paid careful attention to Claude’s scalp as he washed his hair; gently massaging his fingers among the curls, noting how Claude’s head bobbed deftly with the motion. He was so close to crashing. Thoroughly cleaned and rinsed, Danny wrapped a towel around the other’s waist and pulled another from the heating rack to towel dry the wild curls, grinning to himself when Claude’s eyes kept drifting shut in a way that reminded him of Cam for some reason.

Quickly, Danny peeled off his own wet clothes and wrapped a towel around himself. He pulled Claude up, placing his hand gently on his back and walked them both to the bed. The redhead discarded his towel, too tired to worry about pajamas and climbed underneath the covers.

It felt like it had been months since Claude had slept in this bed…though it had been almost two weeks.

Danny threw on a pair of boxers, made a mental note to get food in Claude’s stomach as soon as they woke up, before joining him in bed. Sliding over, he pressed as close to Claude as he could, wanting nothing more than to cover his body with his own. Shield him from the pain. His arm wrapped around Claude’s waist, his palm coming to rest flat against the redhead’s chest near his heart. The rhythm of his heartbeat was soothing. He tugged him closer with a light kiss to his jaw. “I’ve missed you.” Missed this.

Claude nodded; his fingers coming up to lace with the brunette’s as his free hand pulled an object off the nightstand. It was a card…a homemade card with Cam’s handwriting on the front spelling out Emmy’s name. Claude’s breath caught in his throat when he opened it up and a picture dropped on to his chest. It was a picture of the boys and Emmy with Danny and Claude on one of the rare days when Emmy had been well enough to take a trip outside of the hospital. They had asked her where she wanted to go and the only place she wanted to go was to the rink. So they had enlisted Uncle Scott and had gone to the practice rink when no one else was there so they would have the entire facility to themselves. The boys had cherished the opportunity to show off for their not so annoying little sister while she sat bundled up on the bench with a steady rotation of company as everyone took turns letting the stress roll off their shoulders on the ice. Claude had wanted to skate her around a few laps but was afraid it would be too much on her lungs. 

It was weird being on the ice and not having a stick in their hands and all that bulky equipment strapped to their bodies. It had actually been the first time Danny and Claude had ever just skated around, with no real purpose. It was kind of, really, nice.

In the picture, Emmy was sitting across both Danny and Claude’s lap with the boys huddled around, everyone smiling at whatever it had been that Scott had said just before taking the picture. That had been without a doubt, one of the best days of Claude’s life.

Danny smiled at the picture and the small note attached to the card demanding that Emmy get better soon so the boys could teach her, properly, how to kick their dads’ butts on the ice. It was signed by each of the boys.

“We will win this…and we will bring our daughter home.” Danny whispered against Claude’s shoulder.

Claude ran his finger across the picture before slipping it back in its place and laying it down where he had found it. He knew exactly where he would put it next to Em’s bed so she would see it first thing when she woke up.

He nodded his head as he settled back in, letting Danny loop his other arm around his neck and curled instinctively against the older man. He hooked his nose under Danny’s jaw, nodding once more.

With Danny by his side, Claude really did feel like they could beat this. He felt like he could slay one of the dragons in all of those silly fairytales that he had read to Emmy countless times. He could take on the evil villain that was threatening all their lives like the heroes his daughter loved so much.

This time, however, Emmy would win. Tomorrow morning he would dust off his armor and prepare for battle because his princess would get her happily ever after at whatever cost necessary.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, I have quite a few more one-shots already typed up and probably a million more in my head for this verse if there is interest. Feedback is fawned over.


End file.
